A Gift For Y'all

Here, is Miles Davis' very hard to find live album "Live Miles: More Music From The Legendary Carnegie Hall Concert". Featuring some choice performances from the Sketches of Spain catalog.

Enjoy!

Insert the Flat, Metal End into the Buckle & Pull on the Loose Strap to Tighten.

You are looking at the Panet Waves 'Dare' Guitar Strap. It was introduced back in January of 2007 but don't be too surprised if Slash isn't wearing one on your latest edition of Guitar Hero. Designed by Troy Dare, the strap is intended for use by the shredder and novice alike who suffer chronic back pain. While it may relive the erksome ache that comes with hanging heavier instruments off a single shoulder, surely those with spinal issues deserve a guitar strap that downplays their struggle and doesn't seek to mock their painful physical afflictions. The bottom line here is that you'll definitely be a strong contender in the 'Harness Rock' category at the Grammys but can it also be used to abseil down the Cliffs of Dover?

An Open Letter to the Music Industry

Dear Music Industry,
Tony T. here. I know that we haven't spoken in a while, bust rest assured that I have been keeping close tabs on you. After last year's pathetic attempt at recording music, I was ready to write you off. You've since won me back though, with some very stellar releases in 2008.
My reason for writing you is that I have a bone to pick. I have been one of your strongest supporters over the years. Back in 2000, when teenagers the world over began stealing whatever music they wanted from file sharing sites, I was there standing behind you. (Well ok, it was me and a short Danish drummer from a highly prominent metal band) I have continued to purchase cds over these past 8 years, while the sales of said discs declined each year. I fought the popular trends in the name of cover art and the album as a singular creative work.
Just this morning, frustrated with not being able to find physical copies of discs in retail stores, I downloaded my first purchase ever, instead of the actual disc. I feel like a pathetic sellout, but you made this happen. It's true that you share the blame with many others, but you owed me.
So now I am forced to live my musical life like so many others, destined to view album liner notes through .pdf files. I will still continue to try to get my hands on discs whenever possible, but you have allowed them to break me. You are weak, sad, and pathetic.

Now just one like so many others,
Tony T.

A Christmas Gift For You....

My esteemed colleague Mr. Scott made a glaring omission from his list of top Christmas albums. There is no better Christmas album than "A Christmas Gift For You From Phil Spector". This is not an argument. There is no other side to support. Johnny Mathis & Bing Crosby are fine and all, but when you want to step up to the plate with the big boys, you look no further than Phil's stable of girl groups. This album IS Christmas. The Spector "wall of sound" is one of the most recognizable production techniques in pop history, and he blends it into Christmas standards as if they were always meant to be that way. This is the only Chrsitmas album that I turn to when the Calendar hits December.

Let us all remember at this time of year, that all Christmas wishes can come true. Even a girl like this:







Will marry a guy like this:

Bring the Boys Back Home.

As a Brit, I can imagine no better birthday gift from No. 10 than having the UK combat forces returned from service in Iraq. Prime Minister Gordon Brown announced today an end to the six-year occupation saying that the majority of military troops would be home by late July '09. Unfortunately, the withdrawl from such a senseless conflict will come a little too late for at least 136 families.

C. Scott's Essential Xmas Hits!

Put aside your Harry Connick Jr. Holiday album this year. Leave your Amy Grant Christmas record firmly on the shelf. Tell Josh Groban No-el! Here's the perfect soundtrack for pruning your yule log. Novelty antlers are compulsory.

10. Last Christmas - Wham!

Enjoy a drunken slow dance at the Christmas party to the sweet sounds of George and Andrew.

9. All I Want for Christmas - Mariah Carey

Meet Mariah under the mistletoe for some soulful Santa-style revelry.

8. The Pogues & Kirsty MacColl - Fairytale of New York

Have a pint of green Guinness with Shane and his friends.

7. Bruce Springsteen - Santa Claus is Coming to Town

Seasons greetings from the Boss.

6. U2 - Christmas (Baby, Please Come Home)

Bono-Ho!-Ho!

5. Mud - Lonely this Christmas

Stick a tree up an angel to this Elvis-esque tear jerker from the fabulous Welsh quartet.

4. Happy Xmas (War is Over) - John Lennon

The walrus was Paul. The reindeer was Ringo.

3. Wonderful ChristmasTime - Paul McCartney

Sup some Eggnog with Sir Paul.

2. Merry Xmas Everybody - Slade

Stuff your stocking with Slade.

1. I Wish it Could be Christmas Everyday - Roy Wood & Wizzard

Rip open the pressies with Roy.

Things Have Changed.

Here is (for better or worse) the C. Scott top ten of 2007. Let's see how she's holding up.

10. Tracey Thorn - Out of the Woods
Over the past year 'Out of the Woods' has proved that it's place on the 2007 top ten was indeed well earned. The album as a whole still has the occasional misstep however certain numbers have remained on constant iPod play. 'Falling off a Log' has grown into quite a favorite and offers the following empathetic lyric; "Little pictures on your telephone/to remind that you're not alone." 'Woods' remains the perfect soundtrack for a late night walk.

9. Lucinda Williams - West
'West' has retained it's swagger and charm. It's a lengthy affair all told but it's broken hearted poetry looms large. In fact, the record is never more powerful than when it's set beside Lucinda's recent offering 'Little Honey,' which incidentally will not be making an appearance on this year's top ten.

8. P.J. Harvey - White Chalk
Polly Jean crafted a wonderfully dark collection of somber ballads with 'White Chalk.' The album would have kept Emily Dickinson in Kleenex for several months and it's for this reason that I've only been able to visit it from time to time.

7. M.I.A. - Kala
The diverse nature of M.I.A.'s second album makes for a bewildering listen. The songs belong together like an international gang of rabid dogs. I have rode with this menacing bunch on buses and allowed them on occasion into my home but they must be restrained as they have a tendency to leave their mark.

6. Blonde Redhead - 23
An ideal album for late night driving along shadowy country lanes. If you don't happen to find yourself tearing along dark back roads on a regular basis though, you'll probably find little use for this album.

5. AIR - Pocket Symphony
The French Air-men certainly earned their stripes back and 'Symphony' demands frequent after hours spins.

4. Battles - Mirrored
There's a very strong chance that all but a couple of the tracks from last year's fourth entry have been completely ignored. The math-rock density of this album greatly overpowers my desire to hear it.

3. Arctic Monkeys - Favorite Worst Nightmare
'Nightmare' still packs a wallop but Alex Turner moved to the Shadow Puppets this year in order to release The Age of Understatement which suggests that the Sheffield youngster has a great deal to say irrespective of the lineup.

2. Arcade Fire - Neon Bible
There are a handful of tunes on 'Bible' that I'll turn to in an hour of need but I must confess I find little call for the Fire on a regular basis.

1. Beirut - The Flying Club Cup
'The Flying Club Cup' is still the ideal coffee and croissant record. You need only your lover, the paper, and this wondrous album for a splendid start to any Sunday morning. Zach and his troupe of bemused minstrels penned a splendid collection whose autumnal joie de vivre remains the 2007 peak.

In conclusion, there are a good few entries that have not fared well. It's rather a dark compilation actually. I should rather have found Tord Gustavsen Trio's 'Being There,' Amiina's debut, Do Make Say Think's 'You, You're a History in Rust,' The Field's 'From Here We Go Sublime,' Art Brut's 'It's a Bit Complicated,' and Burial' 'Untrue' represented but live and learn I suppose. Beware beloved albums of 2008, your time on heavy rotation may be short.

- Slappy

Is The New Metallica Album The 3rd Best Album Of Their Career?

It sounds crazy, but it may be true. First, a not so quick review of what we're talking about....



Metallica helped to invent metal music as we know it today. As leaders of the Bay area thrash metal scene, they took the music of their heros in the New Wave Of Brittish Heavy Metal and brought it to the states. They kicked Dave Mustaine out of the band for being a drunk, (ironic), picked up Kirk Hammett from the band Exodus, and traveled to Rochester NY to record Kill 'em All. Over the next 25+ years they have become one of the biggest bands in the world.





Bob Rock:


Responsible for pop-metal albums by bands like Loverboy, Rock was brought on to produce metallica's self titled album. (the black album) He helped to refine their sound, simplifying it for the masses, and helped them reach new levels of popularity. That's pretty much it, the rest of the stuff they did under him sucked. Load, Reload, the Garage Inc. Covers album, and St. Anger were all pretty shitty.





Rick Rubin:

You know him. The weird bearded guy who brought you most every LL Cool J album in the 80's. Co-founder of Def Jam, he has hit home runs with The Beastie Boys, Slayer, The Chili Peppers, and more. Most recently he's become the go-to guy to resurrect the careers of legendary musicians who have sucked for a while. (see Cash, Johnny most notably)





*Side note: I have a big problem with the fact that he tends to allow the albums he produces to have too many tracks. Amazingly though, on Death Magnetic he and the band were able to keep the album to 10 tracks, which in my personal opinion is the perfect number of tracks for an album.

The feature film "Some Kind of Monster":



This movie deserved all of the awards and praise that it received, and Metallica should be commended for being so exposed in a film that they themselves comissioned. The film began as a typical "making of the album" film and ended up as one of the most revealing films of any major band in rock history. It follows the band through Jason quitting, James going into and through rehab, and Lars dealing with his anger/control/just plain being a dick issues. The fiercest metal band of all time hire a "performance coach" for $40,000 a month to get in touch with their feelings. The album, "St. Anger", is a brutal mess. It's obvious that they were forcing everything, in every song. But, as Phil Towles their performance coach said to them, the emotional work that they put in would not show up until the next album.....




Death Magnetic:
It's been 16 years since the release of the black album. 16 years!!!!!! That's crazy. It was their last great album. At the time we all thought they were selling out, but the true fans realised that Metallica have always been accused of selling out. They sold out on "Ride The Lightning" when they recorded a melodic balladish song. ("Fade to Black") They sold out on "And Justice For All" because they made a video. They sold out on the black album because their songs were under 4 minutes long and had radio friendly hooks. Then of course they cut their hair, fought napster, got tattoos, wore eyeliner, etc. The truth is, that looking back on the black album you see that they wrote a damn good collection of songs and went on to kick ass on tour for 2 years.






Rick Rubin was the perfect choice to produce this album, because he's the type of guy whos not afraid to say "you guys have sucked for a long time". He told them that "Master of Puppets" was their best album, (of course), and that they should write an album as if Master was a double album. Not copy what they did back then, but recapture the spirit and intensity. What resulted is Metallica being Metallica. Back are the 8 minute songs, back are the Kirk Hammett wah-wah drenched guitar solos, back is that feeling when they finish a song you have to catch your breath from just listening.


I think of this album as a cross between "Justice" and the black album. "Justice" because every song has a million different riffs, complex rhythms and structures, and there is an instrumental. The black album because there are tons of hooks all over the place and the production is top notch. (Justice is known industry wide by the fact that you can't really hear bass on the album at all) It is non-stop metal mayhem from start to finish. It's the kind of album where even the songs that I like least are pretty good. The riffs are intense and DO....NOT.....STOP. While the songs average about 7-8 minutes in length, they don't seem too long. Is it all eccessive? Of course! This is Metallica. Metal music is supposed to be eccessive.

Overall, my favorite thing about the new album is that it was recorded live. Sure they overdubbed the solos, and some of the vocals, but for the most part the band recorded the tracks playing all together. You can hear James take breaths in between verses and yell out in excitement. This is all very important, because while this album is compared to "Justice" for it's impossibly hard parts, "Justice" sounds as if every note was placed specifically where it is. It has a cold, brutal feel, which is good in it's own way, but this is the first album where Metallica sound like the band that they truely are.



So where does this stand in the pantheon of Metallica albums?

#1) Master of Puppets - Possible the greatest metal album of all time. This is the album where everything came together. I won't even try to describe it.....


#2) Metallica - (aka the black album) Leaner song structures and bigger hooks made this album the perfect fit for not only radio, but MTV as well. The album vaulted them to superstardom. The bottom line is that its a damn solid hard rock record that has sold more than 22 million copies.


#3) Death Magnetic - The intensity of "Justice", the hooks of the "black album", great production, and above all some great songs. A few of these will be Metallica classics. It's also amazing given how far down they had to come back from.


#4) Ride the Lightening - Ride is a great album. It saw Metallica take a step forward. They became a little more melodic, and took a breather here and there, which made the more intense songs seem that much more intense. It features the Metallica classics "Fade to Black", "Creeping Death", and "For Whom the Bell Tolls". It does, however have a couple of throwaway tracks, and in retrospect seems like the warmup act for what came next.


#5) Kill 'em All - Virtually invented thrash metal. It's raw and takes no prisoners. This is a great album, but much like groundbreaking first albums by artists like Dylan, U2, The Stones, The Beatles, etc. it's not the album that you listen to first. The best was yet to come.





#6)...And Justice For All - On Justice Metallica took everything to the extreme. The songs were really long, each one having dozens of parts. It seemed that they were out to prove something. As I said earlier, the production leaves a lot to be desired. It sounds ok, but there is no bass anywhere on this album. Its layers and layers of James' guitar parts. The standout track is obviously "One", but "Blackened" and the title track are also standouts.




And it's certainly better than:
St. Anger (a mess of an album)
Load (the title says it all, and the album artwork is made from a mixture of blood and semen)
Re-Load (What better way to follow up a bad album than to duplicate it and not even name it anything different)
Garage Inc (a covers album, so it doesn't count anyway)

Something To Think About #3

Ok, this annoys the hell out of me, so I'm going to give the world a quick little lesson. This is the hand signal for devil horns:

Popularized and possibly invented by Ronnie James Dio, and used as a signal for "rocking" by metal fans the world over, this is the correct way to show people that you want to "Shout At The Devil" or take a ride on the "Crazy Train".

This is the hand signal for I love You:

This is pretty much the exact opposite of the devil horns, yet missinformed rock fans the world over flash this signal at the most inappropriate time. Throwing your fingers in the air like this in the middle of a Megadeth song is akin to an army general throwing up the peace sign as he leads his troops into battle.


Let this be a lesson to you all. Never let it happen again.

All Apologies

When listing my favorite bands of all time below, I made a GLARING omission:

Nirvana - The moment the first teen angst ridden opening chicka-ckicka's of Smells Like Teen Spirit hit the MTV airwaves, Hair Metal was obliterated. Now, I am not going to pretend that Hair Metal bands weren't important to me. I've seen Skid Row and Dokken live, I plastered my room with posters of Poison, Cinderella, and Warrant, and I still own a few Motley Crue albums. (Dr. Feelgood rocks. Seriously, check it out)
Nirvana taught many of us something that we didn't know we needed to learn. They taught us that we were being had. The excess of the 80's, (not just music, but fashion, corporate greed, etc.) had gone way too far. Music had become plastic. It was truly a product, a commodity. It was hollow, shallow, and weak. They reminded us of all that we had forgotten about music. Oh yeah!, it shouldn't suck! Musically, they combined the indi-punk attitude of The Pixies, with the songcraft and attention to melody of The Beatles. Kurt helped to teach me personally that it's what you have to say musically that's important.

Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes

I've recently had a revelation in my life. I've struggled for years with a certain ailment. I, like many others, have suffered from the dredded Costanza Wallet.

Visual Aproximation:

This is serious. Now, generally my wallet didn't look this extreme. It had a certain ebb and flow. It would reach a pinnicle, or an Apex as Dr. Colin Nairn Scott would say. At some point though, the beast would have to be tamed.

Now, I realized that I didn't still need to carry around my Golden Tee membership card. (mainly because I hadn't played in 5 years. My Golden Tee gaming had wained since Michael Murray and the Snow Wolf had moved on to Big Buck Hunter) For some reason, the need to carry dozens of business cards around seemed necessary. I NEED to have a dozen stamps on my hip at all times, right? Coupons, coupons, coupons. You get the idea.

Anyway.....I've discovered the "Front Pocket Wallet":

Now this is significant for many reasons. First of all, I've become one of those guys. The money clip type. They have a certain pompas attitude that I didn't want to be a part of. Secondly, I've always carried my wallet in my front pocket. (it's a comfort thing) I thought that Slappy Scott and myself were the only two people I knew who did such a thing. I guess there is a whole underground cult of front pocketers! Rise up my brothers!!!!! Lastly, this completly keeps me from keeping anything that isn't necessary. It fits 3 credit cards, my license, cash, and my two train passes.

Done, that's it! What the hell more do I need? I feel so simplistic. So naked. So restrained, yet so free. I think I'll take up Buddism.

Who Wants An Ass-Whuppin'?

Since it appears that my blogger associates are not keen to get this topic started, I'll jump in first. (I may add to this list later on) Here are some famous people that I feel deserve an ass-whuppin'.

Hugh Grant - Lets just say that the snooty British accent and supposed charming wit wasn't enough to make me want this guy to get an ass-whuppin'. Lets say that his acting in all of those romantic comedies that make you want to hurl also didn't put him over the whuppin' mendoza line. Well, in my humble opinion, cheating on Elizabeth Hurley with a prostitute who looks like this chick is reason enough. Hugh Grant sucks.

Jimmy Buffet - The guy writes songs about cheeseburgers, beer, and the beach. He is the anti-christ. Jimmy Buffet sucks.

Mike Lupica - This NY Times sportswriter is heralded as a journalistic genius. He's an "expert" that people turn to for a "brutally honest" opinion about sports. In reality he is a bottom feeder. He spews negative energy to boost his readership. He does print positive things about players when it benefits him, but 90% of the time he's a worthless read and a waste of time. In the world of baseball writers Gammons, olney, and Rosenthal tower over him with journalistic integrity and talent. This man deserves a major ass-whuppin'.

For further reading visit www.stopmikelupica.com

Cracked Actor

God Would I love a t-shirt of this!!!

Happy 50th Birthday Bruce Campbell!

When I saw that it was his 50th birthday today I just had to do this.....

Ash: Ok you Primitive Screwheads, listen up! You see this? This... is my boomstick! The 12-gauge double-barreled Remington. S-Mart's top of the line. You can find this in the sporting goods department. That's right, this sweet baby was made in Grand Rapids, Michigan. Retails for about $109.95. It's got a walnut stock, cobalt blue steel, and a hair trigger. That's right. Shop smart. Shop S-Mart. You got that?

My Top 5 Favorite Bands

Well this post lists my 5 favorite bands that I still love today.  Short lived obsessions with spirit-of-the-moment bands from my high school days have been filtered out for your convenience!  Here we go.

#5) June of 44

Sure, bands like Slint and Rodan originated the Louisville KY sound - the sound that fuses 20-something existential angst with nautically themed lyrical imagery and angular guitar hooks, but June of '44 are the ones that perfected it. Jeff Mueller's talk/scream vocal approach perfectly complimented his lyrics that read like excerpts from beautiful literature that I'm too lazy to seek out. His riffs were one of the barrels of their musical shotgun, the other was Sean Meadows'. Together they interwove melodies that were at times delicate, jarring, and just plain balls out. Fred Erskine's bass lines and occasional trumpeting gave a haunting underscore to their music, and Doug Scharin's drumming: Jazzy, often catching you off-gaurd, yet completely fierce and rocking when it needed to be. I've been a fan of theirs for about 10 years and I can still go back and listen to Four Great Points or Anatomy of Sharks and feel totally blown away, rocked, and occasionally - eloquently alone.



#4) Polvo

If June of '44's guitars are a double barreled shotgun, then Polvo's are dueling swords that morph into spaghetti. I first heard them in '96, when Exploded Drawing was released and was completely blown away. At a time when I was just getting into playing guitar, it was exactly the kind of music I was hoping to find but didn't know it until I heard it. Their work completely ahnihilated any concept of what verse-chorus-verse songwriting was supposed to be. There were literally no rules. You could do anything you wanted with a song. You could take the riff away on a tangent and forget everything behind you, all the while being gloriously out of tune. If Pai Mei had a bunch of bastard children kicking around China who got together, did a bunch of acid, and started playing guitars that sounded like the strings were about to fall off - it would be Polvo.



#3) Calexico

Yet another band that I didn't know I was missing until I heard them. They're blend of dusty-desert-morricone-mariachi-folk is so perfect it seems like it had to exist. At their best, their songs are like soundtrack music to a film in the desert about addiction, lost love, and family members gone missing. There is no way the state of Arizona and guitars could exist without this music being made.



#2) Fugazi

I was 17 and still listening to Tool when a friend in high school recommended Fugazi to me. I went out, bought Repeater on vinyl, and listened to it when I got home. Aside from "Shut The Door", I didn't like it. I thought it was boring. Plain and simple. This is the musical equivalent of eating Franco American spaghetti all your life and then having a gourmet pasta dish made in the heart of Florence plopped in front of you. My palette was so ignorant, I literally could not assimilate what I was taking in because it didn't immediately fit into the genre of music MTV and cock-rock radio stations had trained me to like. I quickly sold the record and forgot about Fugazi. Flash forward to a couple months later, I'm at the same friends house and he's playing the Margin Walker EP. All of a sudden it clicked. Fugazi fucking rocked. Fugazi was real. Fugazi was pure. I quickly bought up their CD's including Red Medicine which had just been released and my musical identity as I now know it was formed. That summer ('95) I listened to Red Medicine constantly. In the coming months I sold off my Tool, Rage Against The Machine, Nirvana, and Pearl Jam like a growing boy sells off his GI Joe's. Suddenly finding them lifeless and uninteresting. After Fugazi, there was no turning back. I could never again hear the spoon-fed-corporate tripe that passes for rock in the major media the same way again.



#1) Ween

One day in 1984 a god known only as The Boognish descended upon Aaron Freeman and Mickey Melchiondo and told them to form a band. Thus Gene and Dean Ween were born. Garage Punk. Country and Western. Doo-Wop. Soul. Folk. Reggae. Eurotrash techno. 70's arena rock. Lo-Fi experimental-pyschedelic-stoner-rock. You name it. All of these genres and more is what Ween encompasses. In their early days, they recorded otherworldly lo-fi rock at that perfect moment when a musician's most prized brain cells are being disintegrated by who knows what kind of drugs. The end result is an album like "The Pod". When I first heard it, I thought it was completely boring. It was only with several listens and the passing of many months that I came to really hear the songs. I now believe "The Pod" is one of the greatest recordings man has ever committed to magnetic tape. Period. In their later years, they've gone from lo-fi drum machine four track recordings to a full arena rock ensemble. The genius of Ween is that they embrace the ridiculousness of rock. They celebrate the humor and absurdity of the arena rock genre and the fact that they embrace its absurdity, frees you to actually enjoy it and truly rock out - guilt free. I never realized what a wonderfully hilarious song "Enter Sandman" was until I heard it covered by Ween.

Be Raz's 14 Nut Kickin' Shredz

The following albums, at one point or another, kicked me in the nuts. They were all glimpses of my personal, musical nirvana; each of them jamming a steel-toed boot of genius upside my nutside. So, here's my tribute to those who made my junk ache with glee. The following are not in any order, but I will provide a caption that describes the album's method of sack attack.

This album was an evil kick in the nuts. After listening to this album, I thought I could take down a full-grown Alaskan moose with evil thoughts of evil riffs. Suck the darkness, Bullwinkle!

This album was a trippy kick in the nuts. The beginning of "Time" sounds like denting Tupperware, but it's a countdown to melodic splendor. Ooooh the colors... and we're off to see the wizard, Dorothy.


Cross Music from the Morning of the World, Elvis, Sepultura, Gregorian chant, The Beach Boys, my Uncle Dave, a rainbow trout and a chainsaw... You've got California. I appreciate this album in the same way people think Van Gogh was a genius even though we all know the freak cut his friggin' ear off. Schizophrenic kick to the nuts.

"But now I'm safe in the eye of the tornado..." But you may be saying to yourself, "Be Raz, you silly goose, tornadoes don't have eyes." F-you. If late 80's early 90's Mustaine says tornadoes have eyes, they do. If you question this album, it will eat your face. This is a spiked, acid-coated kick to the nuts.



I had to separate this form California by Rust in Peace because if I didn't, Mike Patton would be kicking Wolfmother in the nuts. I love Patton, but I love every song on this album like a lioness loves her cub. It makes me want to split someone in twain with me great axe and drink mead from a yak's horn. Here's a grand, nostalgic, power-trio kick to the nuts.

"Drag him out your window dragging out your dead singing I miss you snakes and ladders flip the lid out pops the cracker smacks you in the head, knifes you in the neck, kicks you in the teeth steel toe caps takes all your credit cards get up..." Don't forget "kicks you in the nuts."

One of the all-time great basslines on the track "Hysteria." When Muse first hit the scene, I felt like I was cheating on Radiohead. Now I have embraced muse as Radiohead's evil lil' cousin who was constantly beaten for being a redhead and forced to eat porridge in the attic only to arise with indignant rage to kick you in the nuts.

Hey na na na. Kiiiiick youuuur nuuuuuts tooooomorrow. Hey na na na. Tomooooroooohoooooow.





Suicidal, schizophrenic, massively depressed: must be a musician. Only E can create a stunningly beautiful track and name it "World of Sh!t." E and the Soul jacker deliver a sweetly mournful kick in the nuts.




Why do all of the good ones die? I guess most of the good ones just don't live long enough to suck. Mark Sandman was one of the coolest people on the planet. His voice was cool, his low-guitar was cool, his look was cool, his friggin' pocket protector was cool. Any of the Morphine albums are a sweet 'n' low kick to the nuts.

They may well be the best band you never heard of. Friggin' Fu Manchu, suckaz. These guys make songs that hurt your grandma without feeling sorry for it. "Asphalt Risin'" may be one of the ultimate headbanger tracks. These guys don't even need professional recording quality to kick you in the nuts. Instead, they just kinda riff you in the nuts.

Yup. "Waitin' for a Superman" may be my favorite song of all time. Every time I listen to that tune I get teary-eyed. You know the feeling that you
get after being hit in the nuts. You know how it builds, first in your guts, and then it slowly crescendoes in your nuts? That's this album.





I never really fancied myself a blues fan. But I have almost worn this CD through. This disc has a bit of everything to it, and all of those bits are fantastic. I want to join a triple-threat tag team with these two guys, and together we will rule the wrestling world just by being more awesome than anybody on steroids or any other performace enhancers can be, simply with riffs. Attack and release is a turnbuckle to the nuts.

LED... ZEP... PEL... BAAAAAAAAAAAAAMMMMMMMMMMMMM (Yo nuts).